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The Best Gift Ever最好的禮物-中英對照
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Merrill Markoe once quipped, "It's like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!" But the bigger question is: Can you still have annoying habits and be accepted anyway?
Author Francine Klagsbrun asked a select group of successfully married couples the secrets of their happy marriages. Often they replied, "We don't expect perfection." Even though their spouses had qualities they would like to see changed, they had learned to accept those qualities because, as one woman said, "The payoff is so great in others areas."
Former president Jimmy Carter discovered a surprising benefit when he chose NOT to try to change his spouse. He once told how NOT criticizing Rosalynn actually enhanced his marriage (READER'S DIGEST, July 1989). This is what he said:
"Perhaps because of my Navy training, punctuality has been almost an obsession. Rosalynn has always been adequately punctual, except by my standards. A deviation of five minutes or less in our departure time would cause a bitter exchange.
"One morning I realized it was Rosalynn's birthday and I hadn't brought her a present. What could I do that would be special for her? I hurriedly wrote a note: 'Happy birthday! As proof of my love, I will never make an unpleasant comment about tardiness.' I signed it and delivered it in an envelope, with a kiss.
"More than four years later, I still keep my promise. It has turned out to be one of the nicest birthday presents for Rosalynn -- and for me."
His last sentence is telling. It turned out good for Rosalynn AND for him! The surprising benefit of accepting others without wishing that they were different is that you, too, will be happier.
What a wonderful present to give to somebody -- complete and unconditional acceptance! And its just too good a gift to wait for a birthday.
譯文
美林•馬爾科（Merrill Markoe）曾打趣地說,“簡直不可思議。當你獨自生活時，你所有令人討厭的習慣都不見了!”但更重要的問題是：在你仍有壞習慣時還能被人接受嗎?
作者弗朗辛•柯拉斯本（Francine Klagsbrun）向一群挑選出來的成功已婚夫婦詢問其幸�；橐龅拿卦E。他們一般都會說，“我們不期待完美”。盡管他們希望看到自己配偶的有些品質(zhì)能有所改變，但他們已經(jīng)學會了接受這些品質(zhì)，正如一個女人說的那樣：“其他方面的回報足以彌補這些不足�！�
美國前總統(tǒng)吉米•卡特寧愿不去改變他的配偶，結(jié)果從中發(fā)現(xiàn)一個令人驚訝的好處。他曾經(jīng)解釋說不苛求羅莎琳對于改善他的婚姻起到了多大的促進作用(讀者文摘，1989年7月)。他是這樣說的：
“也許因為我接受過海軍訓練，守時幾乎已經(jīng)成為我的一種強迫觀念。羅莎琳一直非常守時，但按我的標準還不夠。如果我們的出發(fā)時間出現(xiàn)一個5分鐘左右的誤差，我們倆就會發(fā)生不愉快的口角。
“有一天早上，我突然意識到今天是羅莎琳的生日，而我還沒有給她一份禮物。我該怎么做才算是給她一份特殊禮物？我趕緊寫了一張便條：‘生日快樂!為了證明我的愛，我將永遠不再對遲到說三道四，讓你不快了’。我簽上名，裝入信封，吻了一下，發(fā)了出去�！�
“4年多之后，我仍然信守自己的承諾。結(jié)果證明這是給羅莎琳的最好生日禮物——對我也是�！�
他的最后一句話吐露真情。這樣做確實對他和羅莎琳都有好處！接受別人而不期望他們有所改變，這樣做會給你帶來意想不到的好處，那就是你也會更快樂。
這是送給別人一個多么美妙的禮物，完全和無條件的接受!這是一件多么好的禮物，不必等到生日才送。
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